Note: The following article was originally published on EFCA Today Magazine. Dr. Schmutzer has granted PBIAlumni.org permission to re-print the article content in full. We thank him for this opportunity and share Dr. Schmutzer’s article here:
Weeding out some myths
by Dr. Andrew Schmutzer
Pastors are shepherds, and shepherds are “first responders.” This is a core truth, a biblical charge that defines both the shepherds and the sheep of God’s church (Acts 20:28; 1 Peter 5:2). This means that church leaders are on the front lines of ministry to those in their church who have been sexually abused, often the first to hear from a victim.
However, many abuse victims view the church with distrust. And the shepherds often don’t know how to guide the sexually broken. To help build greater understanding between these groups, I want to help dismantle some significant myths, based on my background as a licensed minister, professor of the Bible and abuse survivor myself.
Myth No. 1: “Sin is sin is sin. . . .”
This is a dangerous simplicity. All sin is covered at the cross, but not all sin is equally devastating. The sufficiency of the cross is not the issue here. Shepherding the sexually abused means we must speak just as passionately about actual sin as original sin.
Sexual abuse has a complex life cycle that lives on in families, often going back generations. Moral evil has been unleashed that, in turn, corrupts the cultural environment and pollutes surrounding relationships. For example, a father who sexually abuses his daughter not only distorts her psyche but also pollutes the marriage bed with his wife. Shepherds can use quality teaching to address this complex sin-portfolio of sexual abuse.
Myth No. 2: “Everybody goes through suffering, so what’s your point?”
This myth misunderstands the relational ecosystem surrounding sexual abuse. There is always an attack-factor, a stealing; and for the victim, a diminishment and dismembering of the soul. Lifelong effects are common. Add to this the fact that God did not intervene, and you have a devastating form of suffering that causes many victims to “leave the faith.” But shepherds who minister with deep compassion can help victims rebuild their trust in community.
Myth No. 3: “Sexual abuse comes from strangers and perverted people.”
In reality, many wolves actually live among the sheep, in the church. Studies reveal a chilling reality: The majority of sexually abused children were abused by someone they knew—with 25 percent of the time that abuser being a birth parent. One in six boys and one in four girls are sexually abused. The data also suggests that rates of sexual abuse are not appreciably different among evangelicals when compared to the general population. When shepherds name such sins openly, as problems that occur within their flock, then victims don’t have the added burden of needing to break the “sacred silence” that always hurts them more than the abuser.
Myth No. 4: “Preaching about such horrendous evil will scare people away.”
It takes a prophetic spirit to break that sacred silence and call out the sexual violators, but victims will then have their pain validated. And, actually, many abusers want help. Maybe most counter-intuitive is that seekers will realize, “This church calls it like it is.” When shepherds protect the sheep through honest preaching on abuse using stories already found in the Bible (e.g., Genesis 34; 2 Samuel 13), one sensitive sermon can dispel two damaging myths.
Myth No. 5: “If you’ve forgiven your abuser, you must also reconcile.”
This is a claim that may preach well but is naïve at best and re-victimizing at worst. Forgiveness itself is typically a process for victims. Abusers need to show the fruit of brokenness to qualify for any kind of reconciliation. We’re not talking about a business deal gone bad but about victims who have experienced trauma and typically need professional help and safe space in order to heal. Shepherds must allow the victim’s needs to set the agenda, not the abuser, the family or the doting elders.
Myth No. 6: “Worship and address of sexual abuse don’t go together.”
This myth reflects our church culture—particularly the loss of lament—more than it reflects biblical worship. Broken worshipers (and who isn’t), and victims in particular, need to be creatively drawn toward God through things like testimonies, written prayers, drama, healing rituals and the use of lament. To draw victims, we must help them worship in pain, not in spite of their pain. Sanitizing pain out of worship reveals a loss of realism, candor and corporate grief. Shepherds might begin this process with a variation of this moving liturgy, used for a corporate healing service for victims:
Minister: People of God, why are you gathered? People of God, are you wounded? People of God, what is your hope?
Congregation: To worship the Lord who comforts us in our pain, hears our cry for justice, and breaks the walls of silence that keeps the truth from being heard. Yes! We are wounded when children are abused. We are wounded when the weak are assaulted. . . . Our hope is in God who has promised to be with us in our suffering.
There is nothing new about sexual abuse, but openly facing such dangerous myths is new. Shepherding God’s flock requires us to be leaders who are approachable and equipped, ready to lend a hand to any man or woman touched by abuse. We must begin by dismantling toxic myths. Because shepherds speak for God, we must purge all obstacles so we can maximize our healing ministry.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I am grateful to Andrew for the support and encouragement he has given me… I highly recommend his book to survivors, advocates, pastors and teachers.
Thank you, Catherine.
Your article is well-taken, Dr. Schmutzer, and goes farther than most in Christian circles when it comes to issues of sexual abuse within the congregation. I would add to it as follows:
Myth #7: Healing is likely to occur in the same venue where the abuse occurred.
Ministers must be aware of the need for help to come from a source that is completely separate from the site of abuse, and must have a roster of appropriate professional referral sources on hand for this purpose. (You have alluded to this in your Myth #5, “Shepherds must allow the victim’s needs to set the agenda, not the abuser, the family or the doting elders,” however, I believe it should be more strongly stated.)
Myth #8: Healing can transpire while the abuser is not held to full lawful account for his or her crimes.
Too often, assistance is attempted for survivors’ healing while the crime itself is minimized. The “brokenness” on the part of the abuser which you have asked for in Myth #5 must be backed up by community standards, both from within the Christian community and from within the greater social context, i.e., full disclosure and legal consequences. Without this, the outcome is skewed against the survivor, resulting in such injustices as the victim, not the predator, being sent away from home, or the abuser receiving services that surpass those provided to the abused.
Respectfully,
Angelyn Ray, MSW
PBI sexual assault survivor
PBI alumnus, class of 1963
Angelyn Ray recently posted…Sex Abuse Scandals in Bible Schools
Hello Angelyn Ray. Thank you for your articulate response. I can see the validity in what you say with Myth #8. Considering we are only able to control our own thoughts and actions, what would you say is the solution for those survivors to whom community responsibility and validation/vindication is not (or no longer) an option? It may be that there is a point where healing needs to be allowed to occur in spite of additional 3rd party response, for the sake of the survivor. Would it be your opinion that the survivor should focus more on obtaining a response from another entity/person/organization in lieu of their own healing process apart from that vindication? Or, would you see that happening in tandem, preferably? What is the option for the survivor who is not able to obtain action on the part of another person? What do you propose is offered to that survivor, especially in light of the fact that none of us is able to control others’ behavior, either individually or organizationally, let alone the thoughts or beliefs? Thank you.